The patient as artist

I see myself as an artist first but I would be foolish to say that my illness (I have a brain tumour) has not had an effect on my art. I held an exhibition at the Waterside Arts Centre  in Manchester entitled The Patient Experience which was solely focused on exploring what it is like when we become a patient. So it is fair to say that illness has informed much of my art.

The process itself, the sheer demands of producing an artwork, can completely absorb me, taking me away from feeling ill. But creating does not only stop me thinking about my cancer, it also offers me the opportunity to express my view and my feelings about the world. It is separate to the cancer, it is my own unique take on the world, and when I recognise that I feel uplifted. Knowing that I have my own voice is a powerful thing, it gives me a feeling of confidence that I can make my own decisions about how I am going to approach life. So the process of producing an artwork is a tonic in itself.

The artwork is almost like a box where I put away my distressing feelings

There is then the result of the process. If I create an artwork that deals with an aspect of my illness, then by looking at the finished painting I can put emotional strife to peace, at least for that time. The artwork is almost like a box where I put away my distressing feelings and then close the lid and walk away from the box. I may have to return to the box and look inside it again, but I can control that viewing rather than it controlling me.

Holding an exhibition offers the chance for reunion and recognition. Family and friends come together to celebrate an exhibition and that re-establishes contact and can allow people to gain understanding, communicate their love, anger or whatever feeling they are having at that time. And recognition is a very powerful part of wellbeing. It affirms the feeling that I have a purpose and that I am offering something to the world. I am not an ill, passive person but an ill person making an active contribution to the world about me.

I find that arts professionals organising exhibitions do not always realise the valuable part they play. A large amount of footfall, feedback and sales of work are valid criteria to judge whether an exhibition has been a success, but an exhibition’s success can be judged by much more than that. I recognise that it is difficult to define what is successful in enabling greater wellbeing for an artist with an illness. So when pulling an exhibition together, curators and others might like to take some time to reflect on what they are a part of: the opportunity to enhance that artist’s wellbeing. (Outside In is an organisation I have worked with that can provide professional advice to both artists and curators in this area.)

Andy Wild is an artist.
www.andywildart.co.uk