If I were 22: Lynette Gray

#IfIwere22: I’d have more courage

At the age of nine I went on a school visit to the Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh and what I saw had a huge impact on me. It opened my eyes to art and by the time I arrived back home, teaching art was what I wanted to do. I went straight from college into the classroom. It had never occurred to me when I was younger that a career as an artist was possible.

I soon realised how much I missed painting and didn’t feel a whole person without it. I decided to give up teaching but was persuaded to go part-time instead. This allowed me to paint and teach and seemed a good compromise, but has left me with a sense of regret: I wish I had more courage then.

I did resign, eventually, at the age of 55. I still feel it was a gamble to do this but I should have done so earlier. Even when my work was being recognised, I didn’t push myself forward, I didn’t believe in myself. Nowadays, I’d definitely try to be more confident and direct about what I wanted and the direction I wanted to go in.

#IfIwere22: I’d find a balance between what terrifies me and what feels comfortable

Like many artists, I find it hard to shout about my work and I’m naturally quite reticent. Taking on projects like adopting a station to create a gallery and studio, standing up at events talking about the Artline project I’ve developed, didn’t feel comfortable at the time, but these have been formative experiences. Sometimes it’s only when you stop and take stock that you think – that project wouldn’t have happened without me. 

#IfIwere22: I’d not force myself to be someone I’m not

I experimented with different approaches to art at college, but at the end of the day I am the artist that I am: an observational painter. You can’t let others’ opinions sway you or simply follow a trend because it may lead to commercial success. I tried to be abstract and conceptual but it’s not for me. It is observing nature that fascinates me and trying to be something that I’m not would show in my work. My work sells and I consider it a privilege to survive as an artist. I think many artists underprice their own pieces but I would rather my paintings were on people’s walls than in my attic.

#IfIwere22: I’d carve out time and space for myself

Having been so fixed in my ideas of what I wanted to do after school meant that I didn’t have time to explore things in a more relaxed way. Now I’d tell my younger self to take a few years out – travel, paint more and even try out different jobs. As I grew older, I juggled family life with painting but you do have to carve out time to allow yourself to develop as an artist. I was able to do this, particularly as the children grew older.

In 2009 I started the process of creating a studio and gallery in Kinghorn Railway Station in Fife and at last I have a true space of my own! This year I’m restoring the unused signal box at Aberdour and it will become a workspace for making ceramics. I’m not sure where this will take me creatively but it’s a wonderful opportunity and a beautiful space.

#IfIwere22: I’d set my sights higher and go for it!

Life has been a balance between things happening naturally and seizing the chance when opportunities arise. The turning point for me was when I fell ill. The experience made me realise that life truly is too short and I should take the chance, call myself an artist and get on with it. From this flowed the wonderful opportunities of the Artline, linking the other restored buildings on the railway line. This is the second year we’ll open our doors to the public: it’s nerve wracking but it’s also a long way from my career as an art teacher.

Lynette Gray is an artist based at Kinghorn Gallery. 
kinghorngallery.co.uk

Lynette runs the Artline Open Doors Weekend, which takes place 29-30 April in Fife. From North Queensferry to Cupar. Once unused station buildings at eight stations along the East Coast Mainline have been refurbished as artists’ studios or heritage centres, welcoming visitors. 
theartline.co.uk